5. Five things to do to bike 100 km

Let’s not forget this is a blog and not a place to dump emotions and feelings. And, as someone who owns a blog, I need to influence my readers. So please open your arms widely so I can influence you!

If you want to know what it takes to bike 100 km in about 2 months, here’s a list of the things you need to do.

Disclaimer: like in any story, half of it is true and half less true. You get to choose your side :) 

5. Be equipped but don't overspend

You need some new gear, but don’t go too far. After all, being thrifty is a sign of discipline and you’ll have to build one. 

For €10 999 (VAT included), you can buy a good entry bike, nothing fancy, just the bare necessity. Keywords to check on the internet: carbon, titanium! For a mere  €1000 more you can have some accessories for it.  A bag to carry some emergency stuff is highly recommended. If you get one that transforms itself into a tent, go for it. You never know when you get really good and drift away to the Pyrenees where there’s no telephone signal and you’ll have to camp for the night. But again, nothing fancier than that, don’t throw your money away. 

A repair kit for your bike is a must. You know, some patches, some foam, a pump. It’s important that the pump is electric so you won’t have to manually pump for 30 seconds (don’t forget an extra charger in case the battery runs out, and another charger for the charger in case the first charger gets depleted). Telephone holder, new bluetooth earbuds, pocket knife, powerbank (to assist those chargers), some good applications to tell you the route and the number of your wheel resolutions - they come at “the others”. 

    Clothes: anything to protect your butt getting over-tanned and your privates going numb should be purchased. Now, after 30-40 km on the saddle, nothing will take mercy on your jewels, irrespective of the cushions, but you need to look like a biker. Again, nothing fancy, not too expensive, when your online bills get to 4 digits you may stop. 

    Of course, if you’re on the stingy side, you can take your city bike and any sport clothes, but then your neighbours won’t notice you’re going on a real mission. 

4. Adjust your posture

When it comes to biking, it’s crucial to have the right posture. Adjust yourself so that you won’t end up like those bow-legged bikers that seem to have just got off a horse and their legs haven’t yet re-adapted to the real world. If you want to have a complete picture, imagine a man walking around with two big melons under his arms, only that someone had stolen the melons and he didn’t realise. 

Also, if you plan to go 50+ km, don’t do it like those 60+ couples do, stiff and perfectly perpendicular to their bike, seemingly minding their own business. I know they overtake you on several occasions and frustrate the shit out of you, but that’s because they have electric bikes, not because they cycle well. 

The right posture is the one that appears in every picture showing a cycle. If you’re biking on a city bike, you need to stretch your arms a bit and push your butt into the saddle until you really feel it. As simple as that. How much you have to push, it depends solely on your pleasure threshold. And openness, of course :)

This will help you tackle any hill. Now, in the Netherlands, the highest hills are the bridges, so what’s the fuss? Still, we have something equally difficult, only more insidious: wind. And we have it galore and always against you while cycling. It changes the direction only when you come back. 

3. Choose the right music

    Now this is a tough one. Diversity being the engine of progress, so should music be chosen as well: diverse. Try to stay away from the sauna/massage genre, but for the rest, it should be ok whatever you prefer. Sure, if you want to feel the pimples of your youth on your face again, you’d go for something that made you thrill back then. And accept that that has become classic music now. 

    Piece of advice: listening to hard core metal like Kreator and Sepultura doesn’t make you bike faster but it does make you laugh - actually with, not at - the kid that looks a lot like you only close to 30 years younger and with more, much more hair on his banging head :). 

            “Don’t try to tell us what is right for us aaaarrrrgggghhhh

We don’t give a f*uck anyway  aaaarrrrgggghhhh”

   

Not much has changed, has it? 

2. Work on your mental strength 

You’ve probably noticed that every single sport is telling how important it is to be strong mentally. And it’s true, this is actually one of the major factors that separate gods from mortals in sport (next to talent and work). If you want to beat one of the big three in tennis, you need to have the strength to train 25 hours a day and be prepared that hundred and one out of hundred of your perfect balls will be viciously returned. 

When it comes to biking in nature, be it for 100 km, you need to enjoy it. Your mind should not be focused on who’s beating whom (although that bitch of a clock is pushing you!), but rather to relish it. You need to find the perfect symbiosis between you, bike, nature, music, life. Your mind should be roaming free, forget your worries and your strife. You need a big inner smile inside you and keep pedalling. The more depleted your mind, the better. It’s so simple. And there’s a quick and direct way to reach that, which brings me to my number 1 piece of advice, for biking or whatever ...

1. Listen to your woman

    We are men. We have the “let’s measure it” feature deeply built in ourselves. Even if we know we stand no chance, we want to do it, we do it, we come back home with the tail between our legs and, most importantly, we never learn. Tomorrow we’ll do exactly the same. That’s how the universe works with us. 

    Then comes the woman and she says to you, subtly at first, that the war is over. You look at her dumbfounded and tell her to tell you what she means, as hints never work with us, neither subtle nor direct. She tells you then directly (Flo, relax, don’t look at the clock, enjoy the ride!) And she’s right, you see it’s working. And you begin to listen! Then you move to the next level: you listen even if she doesn’t want you to listen. You’re a man, you know women like to play hard to get, so you go on and insist, even though she told you to leave her be. 

    ‘It’s getting a bit late, which route shall I go tonight?”

    “Don’t know, pick one, you know them best”

    “What do you think?”

    “I’m not telling you, you don’t follow it anyway. And you want me to explain it, so just choose one”

    “Come on, tell me, ‘I'll behave, I won’t question it”

    “Go to the west”

I know I have a very particular way of listening, behaving, and not questioning  :)

    “Why west?”

    “I knew I had to explain it! Because you like riding into the sunset and you’ll get your energy from the last sun rays of the day. And it raises your spirit”

    “Thanks, you’re a dear! Off I go”. 

    It was such a north-eastern route that evening, but no one can say I didn’t listen :)