Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Computers Gender

There are a few things that certainly happen when you go to work after a long weekend. As my religion does not allow me, I do not work on Mondays, so I always have a long weekend. This one was even longer, since I had the Friday off as well. What I did, I've told you already.

But, as all good things come to an end, this morning, at the crack of dawn, I entered the office. Well, maybe it was not quite the very crack, not even a regular crack, and surely not dawn, but certainly it was more than an hour before lunch.

The first thing that struck me was the coffee. At home we bought one of the devices that take coffee to a different level. Either the one endorsed by George Clooney or the similar one, from the competition. That's some coffee, no kidding. The big disadvantage is that, when you go back after a break, the coffee from the machine tastes like... how shall I put it to respect the truth but still being grateful that the coffee is for free...the coffee we had at the hotel in New York. This is quite sad, truth be told. What's even sadder is that in no time we get used to the taste of it.

The second thing that puzzled me was my desk mate, Ms Kay. A few words about her are necessary for you to realise why she puzzled me. She's the kind kind, very polite without being offensively shy, well raised and clever. Always carrying a smile. And if it wasn't for her employer, she'd have never got to use gratifying words like "bastards", "what a bunch of gits", or "you'll never believe what the motherfuckers are up to".

Today, after having returned from the ordeal of taking the first office coffee, I started to read my emails. Then I heard, coming from her:


I checked immediately for the most likely danger that might have caused that but, surprisingly, I wasn't saying a word, I was mute like a swan. It wasn't me then. Well, it's not polite to intrude in a lady's life, so I kept saying those no words.

Later on we went to lunch and I got the courage to ask her if everything was fine.

"You know", she began and I knew in an instant her soup would be cold by the time she'd finish the tirade, "it's sooooo frustrating.When you come in this company for the first time, you get a brand new computer. That works fine for a while, then almost suddenly, it crashes. You call for help, which takes time, and eventually you have it replaced by a "new" one. Only that one is not new, it was someone else's before, who must have given it away for some good reasons. After a while it crashes as well and, after another while, you have it again replaced, again by another "new" one. This one has all the old problems solved, but soon you'll discover that the hard drive cannot be accessed anymore.

And it keeps going like that, this is the fourth one now, and this morning it just left me down, I lost all the results I had to analyse this weekend. What do you guys think about this???"

"Well, to be honest", I tried timidly, "doesn't it look like the men in your life?"

Boy, I shouldn't have made noise.

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