Sunday, November 13, 2011

Sefton

They declared him the horse of the year and showed him on the telly.

He had a rough night, didn't sleep that well. Lots of thoughts were roaming through his head and when he was about to finally fall asleep Rochester began to snore his muzzle off, fine for everyone who'd been dreaming already, but not for him.

"We'll see the Queen tomorrow, rumours have it", thought Sefton, but he wasn't actually very convinced about that. He looked to his left, a few yards away, and saw Zara, sound asleep. He'd known her for years, they met right after he came from Germany. Memories come rushing up to meet me now... She was Arabian, one of the finest ones, shiny black with a lovely mane, which she wore with great pride.
"She's so beautiful", he said to himself for the millionth time, "today must be the day". He'd have to tell her everything, there's no way out.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Quit drinking?

A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. "What are those machetes doing in your car?" asks the cop.
"I juggle them in my act."
"Oh, yeah? Says the doubtful cop. "Let's see you do it.” The juggler gets out and starts tossing and catching the knives. Another man driving by slows down to watch.
"Wow" says the passer-by. "I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're giving now!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Memories

A few days ago at work: busy as usual and me trying to get some answers, for which I needed to ask a colleague. The nice guy type, round 50, extremely high education (pre-phd, phd, post phd, highschool, university, phd...), very devoted to his work and always willing to share a piece of his wisdom with the others.

So here I am, at his desk,  posing the question, not fully aware that I might not be able to handle the truth. Before I realised what hit me, he went on explaining to me about the Lessing's curves that are involved in the matter (don't look up, you don't want to know what they are). These scientists, sooo excited about their work! Had those curves been a woman they would have been doing it right there on the floor, sending a 200-page Code of Conduct into oblivion.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Insurance agent

Airman Smithy was assigned to the army induction center, where he advised new army recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI life insurance policies.
It wasn’t long before Captain Brown noticed that Airman Smithy was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling army life insurance to nearly 100% of the army recruits he advised.
Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Smithy’ life insurance sales pitch.
Smithy explained the basics of the GI life insurance policy to the new army recruits, and then said: “If you have the GI life insurance policy and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don’t have GI life insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6,000.
Now,” he concluded, “which group of soldiers do you think they are going to send into battle first?”