Sunday, January 29, 2012

Midnight in Paris Unabridged

Have you seen Midnight in Paris? If you haven't, please rush to it, don't know if you can still find it in the cinemas, but it you don't, by all means, get it and watch it. If you are a Woody Allen fan you'll like it at least because of that. If you're not, you need not worry, as this is not a typical Woody Allenian production (as if I knew what such a production should look like :). Moreover, since you read this blog it means that you have very fine tastes and you're automatically excluded from Owen Wilson circle of fans. That shouldn't worry you either, as his role was chosen with utter care so that he couldn't mess up anything in the film.

I do not want to spoil the surprise but I'll have to reveal the plot, just a little bit at least. No details, just the gist of it. The film begins with the presentation of a typical rich family from the US, visiting Paris for several reasons. The woman (there are a few, but only one to be thus referred here) wore an attire that was a combination between a business outfit and slutty slacks. That helped us immediately jump to conclusions and categorise her as the bitch and although she was supposed to be marrying the guy (again, several guys, still only one worth wearing the article "the") we knew instantly that she was so not the one. They went from the airport to the very expensive hotel, which probably very few of us could afford seeing it from inside, by taxis that are always Peugeot when they're filming in France. Probably a hint for those ones who missed the permanent image of the Eiffel tower on the background, irrespective of the direction of travelling. The bitch was of course a bitch, but she had some particularities as well. Not only that her mother was, you got it right, a bitch herself, but her father was also a member of the bitchy club. I don't quite remember what they liked to drink and eat, but maybe you'll get bored on such details and you'd like me to keep straight on the big picture.



Anyway, long story short, the guy is not only a regular guy and, besides being THE guy, he is also a writer. And in one of his walks in solitude around midnight he manages to travel in time to meet some great artists of what he considers to be the golden age: the stylish Fitzgerald, the fucked up Hemingway, and the even more fucked up Picasso. A great cocktail, all gathered in a pub. After a while, when getting somehow used to the society, he gets to go even further in time, in another golden age, when he meets Lautrec and others. I wish I was more erudite and give you the periods by their names and the people by their habits, but alas.

Anyway, someone was missing in the picture of the great people of yore. This is not actually shown in the film, but it must be available somewhere somehow, in an unabridged version of the movie. It's about another golden age, a few very good years before the events presented. This is the incident that must have put the scene aside. It involved Descartes. Rene Descartes.

One night Spinoza and Locke were looking for him all over the place. They had seen him entering the pub and they turned their backs for a moment and the old Rene was not there anymore. They asked around but no one had seen anything, so in the end they went to ask the bartender.

"Seen our good ol' pal Rene?", asked Spinoza.

"Mr Spinoza, sir", replied the bartender in awe,  "you won't believe what has just happened. The venerable mister Descartes came in a few moments ago, headed to the counter where I was busy filling in some pints. He looked a bit ...preoccupied, if I may humbly say that sir. I like him, you know, he's one of the best customers of mine, he and you sirs brought a lot of wisdom to this place of merriment and that's good for both business and soul. Anyway, I said he looked a bit bothered so I immediately tried to cheer him up with a pint.

'Good evening Mr Descartes, sir. Would you like a pint?'
'I think not', he said to me shaking his head, 'I think not' "

"Aaaand?", asked Locke who began to lose his patience.

"He disappeared, sir! He just disappeared!"

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